Life of the College Girl

Posts Tagged ‘happy

I’ve talked about this a lot. I’ve honestly wanted to do it since I was very young. Now that I’m of age ,and men tell me that I have the body for it, I just might try it. The main reason is because I need the money, bad. I’m only working weekends at my job because the season is over and I’m barely getting 20 hours. On top of that, I have my bills to pay on top of paying some of my mother’s bills because she is currently unemployed. I need the money. I know many of you would tell me to cut back on my spending and I have been. I’m done buying hair for the rest of the year, I haven’t bought clothes since early September maybe with the exception of the dress I had to buy for a wedding recently, I don’t eat out as much, and I talked myself out of buying an unneccessary 2nd phone. What else can I cut out?

I need a second job bad, but I suck at interviews and I hate those waste of time quizzes that they give you. I mean if I’m going to spend an hour answering the same questions 5 times and then you reject my application because I answer 2 questions differently then this isn’t the job for me. Plus no one is hiring for real anyway, and I’m always going to be beat out by someone with more experience in the field. I’m very experienced in the field of being sexy. Doing anything, within reason, to get money.

 That’s why I think stripping is for me. I’m getting paid to do what I do best. Be sexy. The club that I want to work for just happens to be hiring. I assume they make good money there seeing that my guy friends go like every week and spend like hundreds of dollars. That’s the type of money I need. I can help my mom, I can pay off my debts, it will make everything easier. We won’t have to worry about the cable being turned off, or the internet bill being late, or having the power turned off. I’ll be able to take care of all of that.

Most importantly I’ll be happy. I’ll be doing something I’ve been wanting to do since I was 11 years old, maybe younger. I’ll finally get the attention I crave and get paid for it. I’ve never seen stripping as being degrading, but glamorous. I never saw the negatives and I never will. All I see is money right now and I have to do what I gotta do to get it. Even if it does mean hurting my family. My mom might kick me out, I don’t care, but I doubt she will when she knows I’m helping her pay her bills. My dad may not speak to me, but do you think I care? No!

As of right now, there’s no cable tv and I don’t know when it will return, come Friday I may not have internet, meanwhile downstairs both freezers and the refrigerator are almost empty. I can’t live like this. I’m not use to this. I’m willing to do what ever to get things back to normal.

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I was so annoyed that I forgot to mention that I saw the guyI had a crush on in high school yesterday. I was riding around trying to find something to do and I was like “hey, let me stop in this drugstore and get me a strawberry soda”. So I did, and every time I go to that store, I always go down the candy isle first, OK that’s any drugstore I go to but anyway. I walked down the isle and guess who I saw…..HIM….and something just came over me, like I saw fireworks, my knees started shaking, my heart was pounding out of my chest, it was ridiculous! Like what the hell was going on? We talked, he told me I looked good (I think I blushed..lol),and I told him the same,and he hugged me,and I passed out…..kidding, but my knees got hella weak. I could stop smiling after that.

Then while I was walking over the the hair products,(that’s part of my little route when I go in the store; cosmetics,candy,soda,pharmacy,hair,candy,checkout), I was think,”Damn, I should of got a better look at them sexy grey eyes”. Wait, I gotta take some time out to reflect on those eyes. Those are the sexiest grey eyes I have ever seen in my entire life. They just get you, they’re so beautiful,and he was wearing glasses that day and they were still beautiful, GOOD GOSH AHMIGHTY!!!!! I need some water……Anyway so yeah I was thinking, “Damn,I should of got a better look at them sexy grey eyes”, and as I was saying that, I passed him again,and he looked at me and I looked at him, and I almost passed out again.

After I left the store all I could think about was him,and it was weird because I didn’t even think that I liked him like that anymore. He didn’t make me feel like that when I had a crush on him in high school. I mean I can compare the feeling I had yesterday to the feeling I got when I walked passed Pusha T in the mall a couple of weeks ago, or the way I will feel when I meet Jamarcus Russell sometime in the future, it was crazy. Like songs started playing in my head and shit. The song “Luv” by Janet Jackson to be exact. It’s was very appropriate, I must say. And I was listening to E=MC2 in the car on random and when I got in the songs “For the Record” and “OOC” played back to back. It was crazy, and I didn’t even date this dude!!! I mean I wanted to, I really did, but it never came about. I guess I wasn’t his type. We would of made cute babies though. Just saying, they would have the prettiest eyes in the world,because it ran on both sides. lol!

But I always wanted to go out on a date with him, but could never work up the nerve to say anything. I just assumed that I wasn’t his type and he wasn’t into me like that, which more that likely is true, but I still wanted to know for sure. It was something in the way he looked at me. The way he hugged me, or maybe I’m just thinking way to into this thing and that it was just a hug and a look, no meaning behind it. Just happy to see one of his former cheerleaders, the president of his fan club (I forgot to mention he played basketball), the reason why I only missed 2 basketball games in my whole cheering career in high school(Only one while he was playing, and that devastated me because it was his senior year). I just liked him so much, and I wished that he knew that. Well if he’ reading my blog,I don’t know why unless someone on Facebook told him about it, I don’t think he’ll ever really find out…