Life of the College Girl

I Still Think About Him

Posted on: October 8, 2008

Ok so you remember that guy I told ya’ll about in one of my entries earlier in the summer? The one who hugged me in the drugstore, and…. ya’ll already know that story. If not look it up, and if you want to you can check it for errors and then leave a comment about how my entries are filled with grammar and punctuation errors and that I should brainstorm, pre-write, and edit before I even think about posting such a hot mess of an essay online! Sorry, a commenter pissed me off last week…somehow she believed that I was a token black girl at an HBCU…anyway….

Its weird because I always thought that this was just a high school crush and that I should be over him by now since, you know, I’ve been out of high school for 2 years now, but I think about him a lot. It’s not like Helga off of “Hey Arnold” though. I don’t have a shrine devoted to him in my closet or anything. I did, however, steal a picture of him off of the wall in one of my classrooms in high school, a piece a paper in the shape of our school’s mascot with his name and college on it, and, the year that both our boys and girls basketball teams went to regionals, I demanded that I cheer for the boys game just so I could see him play. On top of that, I only missed one game that year. Actually, out of the 3.5 years that I cheered in high school, I only missed 2 games. Football and basketball, and I never missed practice. If I did, they thought something really serious happened. Cheering was my passion back, and having eye candy like him made it even better when basketball season came around.

He seemed like such a fun guy to hang out with. I always wanted to chill (original version of the verb; the clean version) with him. Like on a friend level, but that never happened. We just weren’t around each other like that. We didn’t have the same circle of friends. Though I was a cheerleader, I didn’t hangout with them. I wasn’t like them. Not being mean to my former teammates, but I was one of those girls that made the team for my talent, not just for eye candy. I’m not saying that I was the greatest to ever cheer there, but I wasn’t the worst.

Anyway, I keep getting off the subject, I really did like him, and people knew I did, but I don’t know if HE did. I attempted to tell him one night after the Winter sports awards thing his senior year. I tried, but when I opened my mouth the corniest of corny phrases came out and it just cause a whole lot of awkwardness. But I just wanted him to know how I feel. I’m so shy thought; I mean he’s my friend on both Facebook pages, and I could tell him in a message at any time, but I just can’t. I’m scared, mainly because I can’t approach him like I do other guys. I don’t think I could use my usual tactics, being extremely flirty with my eyes, or dressing a lil sexier. Those things wont work, I know, I tried them in high school and FAILED!!! I guess if I wanted him to take me seriously I would have to come at him as just me. No smoke, no mirrors, just a more mature me. I don’t know how though. He is yet to install Honesty Box, and I doubt he reads my blog since he clearly states on his profile that he “doesn’t read”. What should I do? I really think this is more than a crush; I really wanna get to know him. Let him tell me about himself, and vice versa.

So yeah, I would like to say to him, he knows who he is, just send me a message or something. I just want to talk to you…

Aww fuck it! He isn’t gonna read this, he’s too busy playing PS3 or something. I bet he don’t even know about this blog. He just added me cause I looked familiar or something. Anyway if he does, he knows what to do. Just on a friend level, nothing serious.

Luv Ya!!!



4 Responses to "I Still Think About Him"

With all of the readers that you have and the problems you have with people respecting you, why do you only talk about superficial things? Why are you not trying to put your two cents” in about the future of the country and talking to people the importance it is to vote? Don’t you thing that you should carry that responsibility since you have this blog? You talk about guys, sneakers, and football players but have yet to say anything about THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION EVER!!!! Maybe you should start talking about your brains and leave these guys alone…..just a thought

I don’t know about this guy. He can just be a fantasy. I know I had some crushes on girls in high school and throughout college. A lot of these “fantasies” actually became really good friends. After I started hanging out with them and getting to know them the infatuation and attraction went away. Don’t get me wrong these girls were beautiful inside and out but whenever you open up to reality its hard to go back to the fantasy. Maybe if you do talk to the dude you might think the same. The reason why I say this because the fantasy guy and the real guy never seem to match up. What you may think can be a future can easily be a reminder of the past.

Now I normally don’t go shitting on other people’s comments but College Student no disrespect I think you were out of line. Yes this is an important time for people of all walks of life in this country. I see where you’re coming from but it looks like a wobbly soap box. I mean it would be one thing if you have your own blog (if you do drop another comment with the address and I would be happy to check it out), were trying to get the word out, you were actively convincing people to register to vote. At the end of the day this is Claudette’s blog. She’s writing about whats on her mind and whats going on in the world from her eyes.

Now I don’t know if your perspective on the world is greater than hers but once again this is a blog. People tend to talk about certain topics and issues. On my blog I focus on Black Men, Black Women, People in general, relationships, sex, and drugs. I’m really open to talking about anything but religion. So far my posts have been on Black America, sexuality, and relationships. Sooner or later I’ll get around to politics but like most people I’m watching history unfold.

Pink Diva maybe what you need is to spend time with this young man. I don’t know if you have alot of time to interact with him. Maybe you should try to make freinds with his guy freind’s girlfriend. That can help you with some 411 from his freind and there will be a better chance of him noticing you. You get the inside information on his interests. Before you know it he will recognize you and say, Hi. Then you can ask him about what he likes that you like and enjoy some conversation. Get informed, get noticed, and then isolate on him with freindly conversation. It works.

I’m in a similar situation. I liked this one guy for years and we definitely had a connection but nothing ever happened. We were really close too. We had a lot of classes together and always sat next to each other, ate lunch together and whenever we had a group project we were partners. We were also both in band and one year he was even my section leader. There was almost a year where I didn’t think about him and just thought about college and starting over. But lately as I become closer (again) to more of my high school friends I’ve started thinking about how great it would be if we could even just be friends again. Maybe something would stem off of that. Maybe not. But at least I’d get to hang out with him again. I’ve run into him once since we graduated in 2008 and that was just one of those “hey how you doing” conversations. He had to leave though so it might have been a better conversation had that not been the case. I do miss him terribly and I would love to spend some time with him.

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