Life of the College Girl

What Type of Sick Pleasure Do People Get Out of This?

Posted on: September 4, 2008

I was checking my Myspace messages,and on of my friends wrote me telling me that the guy who video taped me put out another video, on the same site. I got a major lump in my throat, you know the ones you get when you’re scared,and angry? I was upset, because I couldn’t believe that this person was still putting these things out,and how many there were. I was upset, though I don’t know if it’s true or not. He posted the link to the site, but I couldn’t go to it. I knew that I didn’t want people seeing mine so I couldn’t bring myself to see this one. As much as I may want to, it would disrespectful.

But what would make a person do these thing, share your most intimate moments with the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD? What did these girls do that was so wrong? I know what they did….nothing at all. Except for be so stupid and let themselves be video taped. I had to realize that, because I was so nice to this person and his friends, and all they did was take advantage of my kindness and my need for attention. I was not a bad person,but for months I thought I was the worst person on earth, to the point that I really did believe that the world would be better off without me. Sometimes I would slightly overdose on one of my meds,and pray that I didn’t wake up the next morning, that’s how bad it got. I never showed my face, but everyone knew me by my big red coat. Then I finally woke up and realized that I wasn’t a bad person, the person who put the vid out was, and that I didn’t do anything that 90% of the girls on campus had already done.

Anyway, I still don’t get why a person would do this. What type of sick pleasure do you get out of exploiting young women? Does it make you feel powerful? Does it turn you on? What is it? It’s sick and degrading and disgusting.

This is crazy because I was just about to write a funny post about one of the searches for my blog. Someone was searching “Claudette Jameson Video Hoe” it kinda made me laugh because I was thinking of it in the terms of Buffy and Ki Toy, but there is another definition to that term. However, that did make me say “wooooooow”.

I know I said that I would never speak on this subject again, but this just opened up old wounds,and it pissed me off. I just hope this girl doesn’t have to go through the same thing I went through,and if she did I hope that she handles it better,and learns from it. I hope it isn’t me, matter of fact. I know it’s no way it can be, but my paranoid side is always yelling “what if” at me, so I gotta be cautious. I haven’t heard anything on any other sites so I don’t think it’s that serious. I know it’s mean, but I really hope if it is someone it’s someone who treated me like dirt when mine happened. I’m sorry, I believe in Karma. I’ll still feel sorry,but not as sorry….


3 Responses to "What Type of Sick Pleasure Do People Get Out of This?"

you ask what type of sick pleasure people get out of this? The same kind that people get writing obsceneties on their passed-out drunk ‘friends’ faces at a party, the same kind the Romans got making slaves fight to the death or feeding Christians to lions, the same kind that makes people slow way down to gawk at a car wreck and jam up traffic on my way to work, the same kind that makes me read Sisterlicious posts every day even though 90% of them depress the shit out of me and the other 10% are hair advice I don’t need… It is because human beings instinctively consider other peoples’ misfortunes the purest form of entertainment. There’s a quote that goes “tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you fall into an open manhole and die” It’s why it’s why it’s easier to find a video of a man getting fucked to death by a horse on the internet than it is to find the definition of the word “utilize”. It’s because people are jerks, and they like being jerks. I guess I don’t gotta tell you that though…

It’s sick humor I guess. Just keep your head up girl. Don’t let it get to you.

Some people find humor in other people’s suffering or mistakes. Thus, it’ll just be a reminder to you to keep your intimate moments with those that truly show that they care about you, not just say it. You shouldn’t be damned for the rest of your young life for mistakes you made in your more immature past – but it’s still your mistake. Thus, keep your head up and let it be known that you are human, you’ve made mistakes, you learned from them, you grew up and have moved on. Lesson learned.

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