Life of the College Girl

Light Skinned V. Dark Skinned Women

Posted on: August 5, 2008

I always try to greet everyone who comes into my job, but this week I decided to make sure I greet every single Black Women who walks into this week, regardless of how they look and how I think they may respond. While I was doing this I began to to notice something. I get a more pleasant response from Lighter skinned women than I do dark skinned women. It seems like from light brite to a shade darker than caramel women are usually nicer to me than Dark chocolate and darker women.

I always wondered why there was that tension. As a Sociologist, I like to observe the actions and patterns of people. But for some reason I can’t put my finger on why some darker skinned women have this hostility towards lighter skinned women. The only thing I could think of is insecurities and jealousy. I’m not saying that those women who were rude to me were jealous of me, but jealous of my skin tone. I mean I’m your average red bone (am I a red bone? IDK), light skin, light eyes, and ,depending on the day, long hair. Very stereotypical. However,I can understand how someone can become jealous of someone with my traits. Although we scream that we are black and proud of it, black media is still throwing out hints that white is right when it comes to appearance, and black women are the main ones being targeted by it.

I was walking down the “Black Folks Aisle” at Wal-Mart the other night. You know that little piece of the aisle in the beauty section that has all the relaxers and such for black people? I was shocked when I saw skin whitener. I understand that most use it to lighten up dark spots, but I’ve heard of many black women using it to make all of there skin lighter. You walk in the hair stores and most of the weaves in there are sliky, yaki, human hair that looks like it was cut right off of the head of a European woman. Damaging your hair with chemical relaxers just to get it straight. I’m not saying this is bad. Shoot, the only reason why I’m going natural is because the chemicals in the relaxer irritates my scalp and makes it flake real bad. But I just think it’s crazy that the media is pushing us to look more European, and hurting the self-esteems of black women in the process.

But that’s just what I think. I believe everyone does something for a reason. Those women who come into my job and are rude to mean, it not for no reason, it’s just for a reason that doesn’t have anything to do with me personally. Just like how last week I wouldn’t have even talked to any of these women. It didn’t have anything to do with them personally, it was something I was dealing with on my own and as a result I took it out on them.

But this needs to stop. Regardless of if you are light skin or dark skin, if racist sees ya’ll hanging around, he ain’t gonna see skin shades, he’s just going to see Niggers. So just let this skin shade war end. It’s pointless….

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13 Responses to "Light Skinned V. Dark Skinned Women"

I have to say that I think that’s just a BLACK woman thing period. As a matter of fact, I can go even deeper and say WOMAN thing period. You know women are naturally “catty”. As much as I hate to say it, BLACK women especially exhibit those traits. I could write a book if you get me started on my CRAB IN THE BUCKET theory on that. However….

As far as skin tone, I feel as though that’s ALWAYS going to be an issue in Black AmeriKKKa until we get equal treatment as a whole. So, while it may be easy to use skin tone as one of the reasons for the hostility, it’s just the nature of some Black women to be rude and ignorant to EVERYone they encounter despite complexion or ethnic background.

but claudette, do you actually have light skin?????? You look very dark to me, or this is not your narrative????

Anonymous,

as of right now….not really. Since I work on the beach my skin is really tan. But usually I am a lighter complexion. As I am typing this I’m looking at my leg and seeing that my calf is like 2 or 3 shades darker than my thigh because I’m always wearing capris…lol. I’m not saying that I’m bright, high yellow, light. I’m just saying that I’m not chocolate dark.

this is just what I’ve seen at work over the past couple of days. I’m not saying all dark skinned women are like that, just from what I’ve seen so far. Like today, I met a couple of dark skin women who were very friendly,and a couple of lighter ones who were rude. So it’s just my observation…

I am a darker skinned woman and I make it a point not to be rude to people because I know people like you expect for me to be.
I have two light-skinned half-white sisters and they are more ghetto and rude than I am even capable of being. Our mother is the same color as me and she is not rude or loud either. My advice to you is to quit making assumptions.

I do not agree with your assessment that these women are jealous of your skin tone. That is too simplistic. Perhaps YOU are projecting your perceptions, fears, and jealousies onto them. Seriously. I have hung around both light skinned women and dark skinned women. Each group have issues surrounding color by simply belonging to the Black race. I can tell YOU some war stories about how I, a medium to dark skinned woman, have been directly attacked by light skinned Black women for my color. I say all to say that it swings both ways. A dark-skinned Black woman is not automatically jealous of a light-skinned Black woman. A lot goes into assessing the physical beauty of a woman besides color. A light skinned Black woman can also be jealous of dark skinned Black woman particularly if she percieves the latter to have high self-esteem about her place in this world. That has been my story. Many light-skinned Black women have attacked me solely on the basis of my color. So, I avoid them unless of course they are family.

I experience this among Asian women or women of Asian heritage too. Here I’m specifically referring to those of Mongolid Asian origin and not those of Caucasian South Asian origin. “We” can be pretty nasty to each other too. I have visible lids and a slim but curvier figure than most Asian women and Asian women appear to resent me for it, but if they have fairer skin than me, then they will point it out as if this gives them an edge over me. The more Asian their upbringing has been, the more overtly rude they will be and say exactly what’s on their mind.

Having been brought up Danish and American that has been hard for me to take. They also resent that I had the “previlige” of having been adopted and grown up in a white family. I used to mention this matter of factly as a teenager when you talk about your family, etc. to new people. However, in my 30s I’m more careful about disclosing this fact. I’m not ashamed of my adoptive family even though I’m strongly opposed to white people adopting none-white children, I just don’t want to put myself in a hostile situation.

I’m also trying to be more conscious of what I project. You can’t change others, only your own behavior and reaction to others behavior.

See, that’s exactly the stereotype about Dark Skin Black Women that everyone thinks is true but is not. Not everyone has to be nice to you and I doubt that Dark Skin women have a vendetta against you because you are “Red Bone”. Thanks for perpetuating the stereotype!

i’m hot and very dark with two lighter sister so i know all the sterotypes but we are all fine and beutiful features so shut cause i’m sure i look like b eyonce standing by you.

i’m hot and very dark with two lighter sister so i know all the sterotypes but we are all fine and beautiful features so shut the fuck up cause i’m sure i look like beyonce standing by you.anyways it’s not just you it’s a lot of dum ass red chicks think it but even my sister might make the comment about it but when i see men starin me up and down round and round i know who’s the baddest hey do your self a favor and put your head in the dirt and keep bit there.lol

I’m curious as to what you mean by rude. How could so many dark skin women treat you so crappy in such little time and space? Did they not speak, roll their eyes, ignore you…

I’m personally tired of the LS.vs DS thingy. I think women of all, and any color act like bishes sometimes. At least in my world, I’ve had my fair share of rudeness coming from all four corners.

I think some DS females might have low self esteem, being that we live in a society that actually scope us out, checking for bad behavior in us. As if we’re some kind of weird science project.

I can read people well, I probably would’ve felt as if you were trying to read me, in a creepy kind of way. So you might have felt some irritation coming from a girl like me. Wouldn’t you feel annoyed with someone watching you- just to compare you to a lighter shade of woman- or to see how well you behave in public?

It sounds to me like your point is not so much about DS vs LS, it’s more about you believing that light skin is better. Maybe you had to reasure yourself with your lil test.

Interesting blog btw.

i’m mixed. in the winter i could pass for white or itallian or something and in the summer its quite clear i’m mixed. i think you brought this upon yourself. this anger. of course some of them are jealous, but they probably assumed you were some light skinned girl who was going to think they were jealous off the bat. and of course you were. so the were rude to you because of it. i am very light skinned and yet i treat dark skinned people with as much respect as possible. and i don’t assume they are jealous of me, i used to, but than i grew up and went through some things. now i don’t anymore. and some of them don’t even think twice about it.

i have to say though… i hate when light skinned girls are rude to darker girls. it gives girls like me a bad name. i grew up with no black friends in the suburbs and i love black people. i don’t see color all that much. hun you got a lot of growing up to do. and i know you don’t mean to be rude, but you have to learn to rephrase your thoughts better. and just be respectful.

Thank you for your comment,and this was from a while ago. If you read part 2 of this entry you would know that I have no problem with dark skin women, and I do respect them, but there are some that were really rude to me and at the time in my life when I wrote this my immediate response was to be rude back. I’m not rude to anyone based on their skin color. I treat people the way they treat me. I was just observing my encounters.

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