Life of the College Girl

What If…..

Posted on: July 23, 2008

I ended up buying the domain name ClaudetteJameson.com? Just curious. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. Maybe after I get everything paid for school wise. Get my clothes and supplies and everything. Maybe I might just pay the annual $15 to make it official. What do you think?  I think it would bring a lil bit more traffic to the blog. Not that I’m trying to get famous off of this or anything, but I think I talk about some good shit…..and people should listen to some of the stuff I say. Plus I could do more design wise if I pay for it. I think I’m going to do it one of these days…..just don’t know what day…..

Anyway, my internet is still slow as hell. Hopefully by tomorrow it’ll be working right. I should be asleep but I just can’t. Even though I plan to wake up early and workout. By the way…I’ve lost 5 pounds so far!!! Yay!!! Now to lose 15 more before classes start. I think that in a way working at the beach is motivation for slimming down. Like it goes both ways. I see a girl with a perfect bod in a bikini….it motivates me to look like her. I see a very obese lady in a bikini…..it motivates me to not look like her. But at the same time I think it’s taking a toll on my self-esteem. It’s like I don’t feel pretty all the time. I’m constantly comparing myself to other women. It’s taking a toll on my health, trying to have that perfect curvy body. I’ve been taking diet pills, drinking diet teas (liquid laxatives), and barely eating, on top of working out all the time. I’m getting to the point that I feel like I’m committing a crime if I even think about stopping at Taco Bell after work. I guess in a way that’s a good thing, but still. I’m just desperate now. I mean I’m in the 160s, a place I haven’t been since my Junior year in high school, and it’s killing me. My clothes don’t fit. I feel unattractive,I don’t get the attention that I used to get, it’s making me depressed and I don’t like it. So I’m going to do what I gotta do to lose the weight, I don’t care how dangerous it is, how unhealthy, I’m not going to stop until I’m back at 150 or lower. I can’t drink the tea for more than 10 days at a time, so when I’m not on that I’m going to be on the pills, and I take something else before I go to work to keep me alert and to suppress my appetite. I want to lose 15 pounds in a months. I’ll try to keep ya’ll posted on my progress…..

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