Life of the College Girl

Crushing My Own Dreams….

Posted on: April 17, 2008

So I was looking through some of the groups on Facebook associated with the school I will be going to next year,actually I was looking for a cheerleader who didn’t have a private profile that I could Honesty Box about cheerleading tryouts. Yeah I could just send them a regular message, it would of been easier, but I didn’t want them to know who I am. I didn’t want them to judge me and not tell me anything, just incase they knew…..anyway off topic….

…so yeah, I came across this modeling group that is based on that campus. It seemed great, they help you out, there is no physical requirements,and the only thing you have to pay for is the pictures,if you want them. It seems great since I’m trying to get in to the modeling industry, but then I read some under them requirements section:

“All models must be all around good people. Since each model will be representing the company, we want to make sure that everyone is always seen in a positive light.”

That crushed me, it really hit me that what I did 7 months ago is going to affect every aspect of my life if certain people find out. And I know that after I get this exposure as a model, somebody who doesn’t like me or some random person surfing the net may find this,and I’ll get kick out of the modeling group. It sucks and even though I don’t have any regrets in life, it’s finally hit me that the choice that I made that life is going to follow me,and is going to over power every single good thing I do, and it sucks. I really want to model,and be a role model for younger girls,and this mistake is standing in my way and it hurts that I wont be able to do certain things now without this coming up….

…I hope it doesn’t affect me trying out for cheerleading. I mean I’m a great cheerleader, I love cheerleading. It may be hard at times, and sometimes I don’t want to do it, but I still love it. Like that commercial about have a love affair with running, I have a love affair with cheerleading. I love it to death,and I know it hates the fact that I broke with it for a year, it knows that it was for a reason…Anyway I see myself as the Ted Ginn jr. of Cheerleading…lol seriously,but with a Troy Smith/Percy Harvin personality. I’m very competitive especially during tryouts. I hate it people tell me I can’t do something,and I love to prove them wrong. Anyway, because I’m bored, I’m going to break this down in another entry. I can’t keep going from extremely sad to kinda happy in these posts, my bi-polar is showing way too much…lol


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