Life of the College Girl

A low day….

Posted on: February 21, 2008

This has become one of those days where my confidence isn’t really up there. I let too much get to me today. I let my emotions run wild and my mind do the same. It got so bad that I couldn’t even pay attention in class,so I decided to write. I’m not going to post what I wrote because it was very harsh. Very,very harsh. I mean if I was to put that up….only got knows what would happen,so I’m going to keep it to myself. I’m just going to say that is talks about karma and revenge,and it has an R rating for language and imagery.

I’ve been thinking about my love life lately,or the lack of. College is supposed to be where you find your soul mate, the love of your life,and I just screwed that up for myself. Nobody wants me, not after what they’ve seen, even if that wasn’t how I usually act. Even if that’s not how I carry myself in the public, they see that video and just assume that I sleep around. It sucks!

I’m also still trying to figure out how I am the only person in the world who is giving black women a bad name. Because for real, I think I carry myself with more respect in the public than half the people saying that. Like I see girls at the club showing everything but the crack of they ass,and sometimes they don’t even keep that to themselves grinding all up on dudes and what not,and I’m bringing black women down. Get da fuck outta here. I barely show skin when I go out. Ok maybe once but the was they ONLY TIME, because I feel uncomfortable showing skin like that. Like even when I’m in a shirt and tights I feel nude,but these chicks wanna have it all out and then talk about ME!

These dudes are ridiculous too. They are just rude, their fathers didn’t teach them shit, or maybe they didn’t have fathers so they couldn’t be taught. Well their mothers didn’t teach them shit then. I’m not saying they should be comforting me or anything,but they are just out of pocket. They lucky I’m not the bitch I was back in the day,because that would of been they ass. But I want to stay in school….

And by the way, I don’t know why people want me to switch schools so bad….why? What will that do? Show that I’m a punk,let them win? HELL NO!! The only reason why I would leave is because the out of state tuition is too much for me to handle,that was my reason for leaving in the first place. Other than that, I’m staying. If you don’t want me at your school then YOU LEAVE!!!

I’ll be back….

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13 Responses to "A low day…."

Girl – who the hell told you that you’ll find the love of your life in college? That’s very fairy tale and I know it does happen but many of us found our husbands after college. Girl please – that little pool of “men” is a small, small smaple of all the men in the world. Your soulmate is still out there and think you’re great.

Brave decision to stay at the same school. Not a lot of people would have the courage. Just make sure you focus on the reason you are there and do not allow yourself to be distracted by shit. The people talking the most shit now, will be the ones who might be asking you if you want fries with that later in life, hating on your career, husband, successes and life. Trust me on that one. I speak from experience

Stay Strong sweetie. I really hate that this has happened to you. I’m not here to judge you because none of us are perfect. I hope that you come from this situation a stronger and wiser person. Keep your head up, and don’t let this weigh you down. If you haven’t already, find a church that can help you deal with some of the issues that you have. I too dealt with self esteem issues and it was only through God that I was delivered from it. Stay strong and God bless.

A friend from Alabama A&M

Interesting, I dig reading your thoughts. I think that you are maturing more and more with each entry. It’s all transition and change at the end of the day.

Staying at the school is fantastic. To see you walk and deal with the situation is more than I have done in a LOT of instances in my life. I respect that. As many have done, I am no different in this respect, reach for my hand if you want it. I’m here to listen if you want to talk. Be peace.

Wow, I’m glad that you posted just to show that you’re okay. Everyone passes judgement at some time in their lifes and I agree with you, some people have no business judging period! I commend you for sticking it out at school cause I know it must be hard but that just shows how much of a person you are.

Your not the first girl on video doing that and you damn sho won’t be the last…at least not by the looks of some of the websites out there. Just use better judgement! Good luck to you-I enjoy your blog!!

It’s good to see that you’re moving on after what happened. It’s like the commenter before me said, you’re not the first person to do that sh*t, and you definitely won’t be the last. All you can do is learn from mistakes and move on. Life is too short…

Also, it says a lot that you are being strong and staying at your school instead of trying to run away from things. Most people don’t have that sort of character.

I’ll be honest, I joke around and talk a lot of sh*t…But I think putting people’s business out there is all kinds of fucked up, so I felt compelled to read the blog and see how you’re dealing with the situation. Glad to see you’re taking steps to more forward.

nuit… I married my college sweetheart… 11 years and running. It’s possible.

Just keep your head up. With God’s strength you’ll overcome this dark moment in your life.

Be patient…you’re single now for a reason..this is the time for you to get to know and love yourself..a time for you to be the best YOU..u can be. Don’t feel like you have to settle for any ol’ thing, I know you probably get lonely..but who wants to be in a shitty situation, just to say they’re in one? Nahh honey, look at this as a blessing in disguise and keep it moving, as soon as you learn to love you, you wont fall for any old chump and dudes will know that they have to come correct if they’re trying to get at you. My offer is still on the table..if u need a listening ear or any advice feel free to contact me..be blessed 🙂

yo girl forget about these motherfuckers haters and move on ,you didn’t do anything that they don’t do, so fuck them all….

Do you still not realize that regardless if there was a camera or not. Those guys were disrespecting you??? Despite what you may think your behavior isn’t normal. Most girls don’t have sex w/ 2 guys in 1 night especially with 1 guy watching and then switch and take turns. They called you ho to your face and smiled as if that was a compliment. Do you know what a ho is?? A ho is a slang term used mostly in the black community to describe a woman who has no self respect and sleeps with alot of men, men use them for sex and thats typically all alot of men think there good for (like prostitutes)…. Again they used this term to describe you and you smiled!?!?!? To top it off you lifted your shirt up on command?!? Why did you let them do this to you??? You allowed them to use you and make a fool of you. Guys like girls with self respect and think its hot as hell when she doesn’t sleep with a guy for just any reason. I really hope you learned something from this. Again, the reason you can’t get a boyfriend is cause you’re that girl all the guys have had. Guys want a girl that they can parade and realize they got the girl that no one or not everybody has had. You’re used up, dirty, low self esteem pussy.

Its interesting that you would actually address rude males that seem to have no father figures in there lifes. I would ask the same thing of you… Do you have a father figure in your life?? If not you need a better one.

To: xtwoqt4ux

hi! um do you know me personally? I don’t think so, you are one of the chicks I was talking about, the ones who only know me from the tape. You don’t know me in real life,so who the hell are you to judge my character? What they hell are you talking about? Every guy has had me? No nigga done had me! I didn’t even fuck them dudes! I guess some people believe everything the see, I bet you think Flavor of Love is real too? I bet if someone close to you was on camera getting raped,but the caption said that she was enjoying it you would believe it? huh? Get da fuck outta here, because personally…YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!

We all know what we saw on the tape! And didn’t “Big Swole” tell you that he was going to put the tape on the internet? You were disrespected on the tape and you loved it!

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